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Tuesday, February 28, 2006

A Moment of True Reflection and Insight

Why do politicians become so stupid once they reach Washington? There are doctors, lawyers, businessmen, religious leaders, etc., all professions that most likely require a fair amount of intelligence. So why is it that once they win their elections and join politics, they become complete idiots? Is it something in the water? Is it soylent green? Is Jack Abramoff's restaurant's food spiked with some serum? Is something being dumped into the Potomac? I here move to petition the city health department of Washington D.C. to inspect all possible sources of contamination for stupidity. Maybe if they haven't been infected yet, they can uncover what is causing relatively smart people to become dumber than Dan Quayle.

If you do not know what I'm referring to let me remind you:

- Last year Senator Bill Frist, a doctor, diagnosed Terry Schiavo by watching a VIDEO!!!!!!!

- In 1998 or early 1999, President Bill Clinton lied about oral sex, then debated what the meaning of the word is IS!!!!!! (although one could make a case for this being genius).

- John Kerry, needing to prove to the NRA that he was a hunter, went hunting a few weeks before the election AND MADE A PROMOTIONAL VIDEO!!!!!

- VP Dick Cheney, ex-CEO of Halliburton, shot someone in the face and DIDN'T THINK IT WAS IMPORTANT TO TELL THE PRESIDENT OR THE MEDIA!!!!!

- Rep. Jean Schmidt, the moron who insulted war hero John Murtha, INSULTED JOHN MURTHA!!!!!

- The White House creates a xenophobia about Arabs to exploit fear of terrorism and win the elections, then HANDS PORT SECURITY OVER TO THE ARABS!! and THEN IS SHOCKED WHEN PEOPLE ARE XENOPHOBIC ABOUT ARABS!!!!!

- At birth, Tom Delay... IS TOM DELAY!!!!!!

- In 2005, Tom Delay advocated to not remove Terry Schiavo's feeding tube, but HE FORGOT THAT HE TOOK HIS DAD OFF LIFE SUPPORT IN 1988!!!!!

- In 2005, Ahhnold Schwarzennegger calls his opponents girlie men and pisses everyone off in California THEN WANTS THEM TO WORK WITH HIM!!!!

- In 1988, George Bush Senior PICKS DAN QUAYLE AS HIS RUNNING MATE!!!!

- In 1997-98, Bill Clinton, the most powerful man in the world, PICKS MONICA LEWINSKY TO CHEAT... AND PAULA JONES... AND JENNIFER FLOWERS... PLEASE GOD KILL ME NOW!!!!!

- In 2003, two Congressmen, Republicans Bob Ney(Ohio) and Walter Jones (N.C.), were so mad at the french that THEY WANTED TO CHANGE FRENCH FRIES TO FREEDOM FRIES!!!!

- In 2004, Howard Dean goes caveman on NATIONAL TV!!!!!

- In 2004 John Kerry RUNS FOR PRESIDENT!!!!

Finally, our President: Do I really need to get into it?

- In 2000 George W. Bush RUNS FOR PRESIDENT!!!! AND HE IS ELECTED!!!

- In 2004 he RUNS AGAIN AND IS RE-ELECTED!!!

- The Bush Vocabulary Doctrine:
Strategery: to strategerize
Algeria Natives: Algers = Nigeria Natives: XXXXXXX
Rarely is the question asked: Is our Children learning?
I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them.
I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.
I know how hard it is to put food on your family.
I think war is a dangerous place.
I understand small business growth. I was one.
Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people and neither do we.
They have miscalculated me as a leader.
They misunderestimated me.
This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating.
We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile.
Will the highways on the Internet become more few?

Want more? Go to: Bushisms


1 Comments:

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12:28 PM  

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